Peace be upon you and your ògá and your families. May the peace extend to people of our constituency and the citizens of this great nation, in general. (Ameen).
I needed to start my letter with such greeting that has prayer embedded. We are people that greet so much and pray fervently too. It would also be the best form I can try.
My letter is to you. But, I would like it to be related to ògá in a presentable manner. And, obviously, when he possess that mood to listen to the truth. Kindly note that ògá is my kinsman, but you have been privileged (or annointed) to be closer to him than me. So, it is not really a bad decision to write to him, through you.
Aide sir, my letter is not to remind you of versions of curriculum vitaes (soft and hard copies) I have dropped with you, ògá himself or submitted to places I never had thought. I listened to ògá the day he said on air, that I should join my old man in cultivation of fertile lands in our village. It was a sincere advice! But, like humans, I took truth to be bitter. So, for long, I lived in expectation of cities’ blessings. It was a long reverie! I had thought old man was doing the toughest task. And, I deserved something softer since the man invested his savings on me to trend another path. to It was just some miscalculations, I supposed.
Aide sir, my letter is not to demand for an òkadà (I have a relation in the business and all of us can not be olókadàs), or grinding machine for my old lady ( I think she has something she is doing), or bags of fertiliser for father’s farm, or a grant for my sister’s education (it is still old man’s responsibility), or to inform you we would be hosting a ten years remembrance lecture and prayers for my paternal grandfather (Bàbá olóyé) or an invitation to tie the holy knot (àbí it is knot the holy tie ni?) between my gentle self and Àdùké, the heart I longed for😁😍.
Aide sir, sorry for some more distractions from the purpose of my letter.
I wish to mention that the letter is not to “re-remind” you that condition of the road that leads home. The losses recorded of men and properties. The costs on repairs of vehicles plying the route. It might be difficult for you to observe because you and ògá would always pass in tinted SUVs.
Those distractions and many more are issues I do not wish to bother or bore your busy schedules with them.
The annointed Aide sir, I want to assume ògá is treating you well. He is not owing any of your entitlements. I made such assumption so my letter will not necessarily be a waste of data.
The purpose of my letter is to satisfy my conscience on some lines I was made to repeat sometimes in 2015, with 58 other men of honour. It was an oath. And, from my understanding, I am to offer my sincere professional services, “247”, irrespective of client’s race, religion, tribe, belief and I think even when the client’s has done anything good or bad to me.
Therefore, I will like you to tell ògá I love him as human and my profession will not even give me an excuse to hate him. And, I’m a believer to some extent.
Please tell ògá to adhere strictly and comply religiously to medical advices, admonitions and medications. I do not want him just slum suddenly and he is gone. I love him. I truly love him. And, I think you should too. I understand he would attend political meetings at odd hours and lifestyle modifications would be difficult. Some discussions are assumed to require spirits or liquors. He might be served juicy and sugary drinks; and fatty meals. Please tell ògá it is because he is still alive that he can even attend meetings.
I understand ògá has many priests in his service and payroll. But, their specialty is different from mine. I know village and cities enemies will be shooting arrows, targeting him. I know those things and many more. But, his life, like those of the homeless, little, dropout kid in our village, is very important to me, to us.
Imagine fresh logistics and challenging processes of picking/electing another representative. God forbid we lose him to “health negligence”.
Articulate Aide sir, you might not relate my letter if one of the following is the situation. One, he has been so selfish in your judgement and you are looking forward to his death. So you can run away with his properties in your possession. Two, your name is on his will. And, you feel you are waiting too long to own your share. Three, you are tired of your disposition. And, you can not tender a resignation letter. Finally, you have no particular reason you just want ògá to just slum during a re-election campaign or a meeting with stakeholders or on his way to airport to catch a flight or he should just sleep and not wake up.
But, remember “gbogbo wa la máa kú, ìwà tì a wù ló ma kù”.
This piece is a supposed satire and was originally written last year upon the "slump-away" of a powerful political office holder during a meeting. It was to advise political holders' aides to properly remind them to watch their health status amidst their busy schedules.
The writer writes from Ghetto Reserved Area in the ancient city of Ibadan.